Blogging again

I managed to get an access to internet, somehow. Neighbours, especially Indian neighbours in a foreign land are a great boon. My next door friend leaves me her apartment's keys so that I can sneak in anytime and check mails or post blogs!

Last night we had a wonderful time with an English couple. It was a rainy evening, and a little colder than usual. But that did not deter our spirits. We went to the restaurant by the lake. We sat inside since it was raining, but from the glass panes I could feel the lake right there. Facing the lake and the setting sun, it seemed beautiful. How location can be such an important factor. It is one of the Ps in the marketing product mix, when it comes to service industry. Where you are determines what you are!

Hmm, it was an indulgence at the end. The tiramisu. 'Sinful' I exclaimed. Imagine all that calories..or rather Kilo cals!! But it tasted heavenly.

For a change no one was talking work. It was nice evening. And we walked back home. It was then A had remarked, 'how far we have come, it seems rather quick since we have been talking.' We had actually almost reached their hotel and in what seemed no time. P quipped, ' ah, so your life must have sped by.' What a terrific sense of wit! I smiled, amused.

It is rare to have such a nice time socializing. I wonder if it is because I have lost my socializing skills or is it that I need to have that rapport to be comfortable. Oh yes, I still can turn stoic and quiet in companies that I am some how uncomfortable for no known reasons. I think this is quite common or rather human or may be universal. One must feel at home... Be it a Siamese cat called Kathmandu or a dog called Mutt in Kiran Desai's Inheritance of loss.

See, how I shift gears from evening to food to pets. I have never had a pet. I do not think I would ever have one. But the most amusing pet I have seen, was a mouse. My friend had actually 2 mice. Ying and Yang. I wonder how she knew one from the other. But a bad cat ate Ying or was it Yang. And later the survivor died an unceromonious death. Less heroic than being chased by the cat.

Ugh! I did not want to fill in the details of the rat race err...rat chase. But of the instance when both the rat and I had jumped out of our wits, in an encounter deliberately planned to introduce two loved ones to one another. I am sorry if calling Ying/Yang a rat is derogatory.

Someone once asked me if I miss home. I wonder which home. The one I left when I got married, or the one I left when I came to Swiss. The home before marriage, for me has been frozen in time, exactly the day I left it in February, a year ago. I had carefully packed away my precious belongings. Given away sea shells to a cousin to keep them as lovingly as I had. The shells I had collected from Hongkong's beaches. Tucked away my diaries. Threw pieces of papers with stupid poetries I had written, one was I remember 'Mr. Tea'. I can smile at the thought of it! I donated clothes I would not need again. Returned books that I had borrowed. GOt back my books that friends still had. Emptied my wardrobe, so that someone else would have space when I wasn't there.

WHen I go back to that home, will I start from that point of time! THe time, the moment froze just for me, every one else will have moved. Friends to jobs, to marriages, to new love stories. I will not know how to fit myself again in that room. To stare out of the window and look at those neatly growing flowers in a row. Or turn on the PC and listen to Pink Floyd. And may be quarrel with mom over why I am late again!

There will be nothing of that sort. That life has disappeared. A part of me has gone. How I resist change. Or do I? To go back and stare at myself in the mirror...The same mirror and a different reflection. It is so weird that some changes are so sudden or are they really. Perhaps the realization of the change is sudden.

I am confused about my identity suddenly. Or rather I do not fit in that frozen image of me. That image is confused that there is no more of those , bland samosas of Ram dai in college canteen, or bickering about Rituz boutique or coffees and scrabbles in bakery cafe, or proffs I would have liked to hate. Everything is replaced, by a code or a decorum. Is it just my resistance to grow up?

Some one said so aptly, when u are in school you want to get in college, when you are in college you want to get into a job..and when you get into one... you miss your school....you miss your college.

Well, I think this is enough for today. And perhaps I should make this blog a personal blog seeing how much I ramble... with just few selected friends to share their thoughts on my weird thoughts.... argh...wotever....