Hey

Hey!

When I woke up this morning, I was in a strange mood. Yes, I had slept till late and well well well there was this bizarre dream that I woke up with. Is it not strange that people we have known in the past visit us sometimes in our dreams, especially when you thought those people were forgotten or were no longer important to you the way they used to be. Anyways, this is the analysis that I am doing now. In the morning I was smiling. I smiled to myself and wanted to call X who I saw in my dream. I did not really debate whether to reach my phone and dial the number but for an instant I almost decided against calling up. Thinking that I could rather summarize my emotions into a piece writing than calling up. That is because words do me more justice when I write them down. Otherwise in a hurry to express myself I often speak what I did not intend to.. So my dream could become a poem or a story. ... I do not know when I abandoned the thought of writing or simply put moved on from the writer's plane to this normal chatty girl. It was then that i wondered whether call up after a quick shower and may be a breakfast than just right then.

As I did not want to keep mum waiting for me at breakfast I quickly showered and showed up at the breakfast table. After the tall glass of freshly squeezed sweet lime juice and a few soaked almonds I locked myself in solitude. Mom must have thought that I was either feeling too hot given the sultry morning or that I was having a headache. Thats because I generally spend a lot of time with her chitchatting. I do not know how she felt when she saw me unusually quiet and a little lost. When she had goaded me to speak up I just smiled at her. It was then that I had asked her, "Ma, if you know something is bad for you for ex. choclate but you feel tempted to have some, what should you do? Give in to the temptation or forget it?". Since it was at the breakfast table Ma told me that if something would upset my system I should rather refrain. I did not give it too much of a thought, or so it seems like when I analyze the morning conversation.

Inside my room I called up X and mentioned my dream. X did not ask what the dream was like. I somehow felt good about this fact. In the sense that the dignity of my dream remained intact that way. Later, i felt that my ream might not have translated well when i put words to it. It was good the way I had seen it.. like a sequence from a novel that I will write one day.

Cheers,

vid

Tring tring

Ok...so this another one in quick succession...

Sri called up... What an appropriate timing. I was literally all over myself... With all my thoughts translating into words, competing with one other to come out first. and as hard as I tried to be rational and coherent, I told Sri that all the things I wanted to share were equally important and did not come in any sequence per se. So... when I sounded a little understandable I read out the first para of my blog to her. She was glad , I guess.

I feel it wonderful that Sri does not read my blogs. I told her so. And she said, she might some day.. You know with me sitting by her side or just like that... And then she said its much more fun to be with me than to be reading about what I am writing..

Suddenly it reminds me of you. You know that I know that you read me! Is it bletter this way. Or did you ever think like Sri? Did you ever think that being with me would be more fun than just reading me? huh?

Well, it was nice to hear what Sri had to talk about. She remembered how we had run through the Park Street like little children. Oblivion of the traffic and the people passing by. It was great... some moments in life... :)

I thougth of Annie today. I was telling R, how impulsive i used to be. I recalled our Godawari trip. Annie and me drove down all the way just like that. Trekked up the little hill and lay down... The blue sky seemed a little closer than usual... I dont quite remember much but the greenery and the trees... and just lying down...

Hmm... I feel like my old self.. Do we change really? I tell them I have mellowed down.. Does that mean that I have grown boring???? I wonder... Hmmm... it reflects somewhere in the posts that I write, I guess... The reader is looking for something quirky...something crazy... or so I think..

It is good that you who read me, know me through my words and people who know me up close know me as me...as the girl with a hint of kohl in her eyes...and pretty smile ;)

cheers to the lovely night..

vid

No comments!

Well, there have been no comments. But so what! I feel like writing. It is good, is it not!! I don't mean not having comments, but having friends in life! Yes, I have coupla friends finally in Kolkata... You guys know about R and Sri and there are 2 more. But R and Sri both are special. So different yet similar. Both tall and ambitious. Both young and raring to go! R is married, Sri is not. But that hardly matters. We can be ourselves...this chatty girls that we are. Independent, ambitious... dreamers... It is great to see oneself in others. I sometimes think I will grow into a lazy log. Having nothing to do, no challenges to challenge myself... I wonder if I will regress into a typical maadu housewife... something Milanese warned me of long back...

Okay, I am chatty today... I know (smug smile...)... Where should I start?? It was a lazy morning... I woke up at 6 and fell back to sleep snoozing the alarm all the time. My decision to start an exercise routine fell apart as I went back to sleep. Yes, I need to exercise.. I am losing all my flexibility. I wonder now that I used to dance so well... once upon a time!!

Hmmm... in the afternoon after a sumptous lunch that comprised besan ka roti, with kachar ka sabji thrown in and mixed with generous helping of curd and crunchy onions. I loved it. Then I sat down with Anuradha Roy's novel. The author is the daughter of my neighbour.. Well in between the pages sleep found me.

Hmm.... there is a disconnect in thought now... Mom dropped in for a chat. So we were talking for a bit! Now I suddenly remember hearing this wonderful song ... aaoge jab tum sajna... angna phool khilenge... Remember hearing it at the store while shopping with Sri this weekend.

I am soo glad there is good music , good food, good friends... Thank you God!

You can find the lyrics here...

My new friend

R walked inside the cafe. Tall and pretty, the girl clad in black saree was elegant yet girlish. We had met twice before. In both instances we had met during wedding functions. It is strange we made friends or rather acquaintance. It is too early to call it friendship or is it? Being friends is perhaps natural to us. In not time we had exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch!

How a friend of mine, had long ago told me that it is difficult to make friends as you grow older. I could not comprehend him then, as I do now. On a second thought have not my mom and dad had more relatives than friends? During one particular phase of life, friends seemed to be utmost important. With time things change... we enter newer relationships and there are changes. Sometimes we relocate and we leave friends behind. It has been such a journey for me. Having left my best friend in Kathmandu, I have often wondered that will we share the same connect when I go back. With a change of residential address for both of us and change in marital status quo as well... I wonder if our friendship has survived. It is true we might not be in the same plane. But we might strike off again as pals of yesteryears!

Hmm.. back to R. It was nice meeting her! She is a virgo just like Linus. And shares his birthday too. What more she loves scrabble...so we might just plan a scrabble day some day soon!

:-)

vid

Mumbai to Kolkata

Mumbai is Mumbai. In deed!

My short trip to Mumbai will go down as one of the memorable trips in my life. Of course I met Kritin and we fell instantly in love with each other. By the time Linus came Kritin had made sure that Vid Aunty would tell stories only to him. Linus uncle smiled sheepishly as the three year old followed me every where.

Hmm... so we have grown up to become uncles and aunties ourselves. How quickly time passes by! In deed! My 2 nights, 3 days trip to Mumbai was such. Even before I could assimilate the cosmo culture, I am back to my comfort zone. Mumbai is in deed fast. People are go getters or so it seems. But what stood odd was the lingo. Be it a 'tu jaa naa', or 'jaa yeh rakh de'. Odd in the sense that it does not sound polite. And Kritin too is not untouched by the Mumbaiya style. 'ajeeb haalat hai', as he would have commented! I on the other hand come from the school of thought who believe 'aap' a more suitable pronoun to be used while addressing people. 'Tu', I used to think was reserved for people quite close to you. It is such in Nepali. The three distinct pronouns that our language has as opposed to English's YOU, can be appalling to both a child and an English trying to learn Hindi! Bengali has two pronouns, 'tumi' and 'aapni'. Aapni, is reserved for unknown people and people who you are formally paying respect. Other wise it is tumi!

I read about tweets in the newspaper while I was whiling my time in the Mumbai airport. And I should tell you here, I really liked the Mumbai airport. The one at Kolkata is really small in comparison. No wonder I had to queue up for security check for a long time while departing from Cal.

Okay, another disconnected thought... I was thinking this again on my flight.The first thought was to start writing. Writing a blog post, a story sometime soon and more. The next thought was... who reads it anyway.. So may I request my readers to let me know why you come to my corner and go through my babbling? What do you see in my writing?

I am waiting fellas!

Alone

Sitting alone in my room, I wonder or rather ponder. What exactly being alone means. Does loneliness manifest in the movement of my eyes at the sound of foot steps, anticipating your home coming? Or is it the telltale vacant side of the double bed which seems so ghastly as the night progresses?

Not long ago, I had told somebody that my love is like a wine, rather like a red red wine. It reminds me of the poem, My love is like a red red rose by a Scottish poet, Robert Burns. An aquaintence once remarked, that I should trying falling in love in order to arouse my literary stirrings. It is strange that I recollect that yet another aquaintence a few years ago had hoped that the literary stirrings were purely literal! As I try to not miss you, I wonder if we are actually scared of recieving love? Loving someone is not really hard. All you need to do is forget yourself. Like Radha's love for Krishna. The divine love seeks nothing. It only revels in the company of the beloved. And when the loved one plays hide and seek, the divine love gets intensified.

Love that we often speak of as in between a man and a woman is apparently quite different from divine love. That is what 'they' tell us. What is divine love? Is it not the same foolish emotional devotion that a teenage girl professes for her recent crush? How is it different? That moment, that one moment, it is pure surrender. Hmm, now we are losing the essence of love in the web of words. Words like purity and surrender! Love perhaps is a habit. When my sister had left home for higher studies , it took me several nights before I could adjust to her absence. We used to share a king size double bed. WHen she moved out, I rolled over to her side of the bed. Perhaps in an attempt to fill up the vaccuum.

Is love sweet nothings then? The twitters of love birds that I hear in the morning ( I like to believe they are love birds :-)). Is it why I meaninglessly call you for the umpteenth time, half afraid that I might be annoying you. Love cannot be too big or too complex. It must be simple. It must be a red rose, or a yellow one or just pink. It could be a green leaf, it could be rain.... it could be the coffee I make for you. It could be the integration sums that dad taught me. It could be learning to live life. It could be the strength to look ahead. It could be the sheer creativity to innovate a smilometer to capture your day's smiles!

Missing you Linus,

vid