In a cold night
He stood outside in his balcony. The wind was cold. It blew his thin shirt. He stared at the lights beyond the lake. Like the night, he felt empty.
After an eventful day he thought he deserved more than this nagging feeling- feeling vacant. It was like there was nothing in life that held a meaning to him. He had everything that he would have hoped for. A wonderful house by the lake, a wife who cooked lovely food and who was a delight at night. Yet, what was it, he strained hard.
He had a big urge to light his ciggaratte. Only if Reena had not asked him 'honey, don't smoke at home'. He suddenly felt angry. It was his god damn house, his god damn cigarette and why did that god damn woman had to object. He smiled at himself at how he had referred to her... a woman! Was she just a woman? Oh, yes he did love her. He did shower her with flowers that she loved. And heart shaped mugs, pillows, pendents... Argh, not that he cared much for any of it. It was just nice to see her smile. That was all. That smile. But did he not need more. More than that smile. Something deeper and more raw. He laughed this time, deeper and raw, what did he really mean. Perhaps, he was thinking crazy, just because he had every thing he had wished for.
What had he wished for really? May be he got everything without wishing at all. He was a man with simple means, and today he was doing well. He was not someone women adored, yet he had a lovely wife today. What else does a man need? A ciggarette, may be.
He did not know what to do. Reena called him, Sweets, it is cold outside, get in or you will catch cold. He got in. He slumped on the sofa , switched the tv on and let it fill his emptiness with sounds coming from it.
He was hoping that he would fall asleep on the sofa. Not having to go near Reena. He did not want to touch her. He felt like he was actually using her. He was sorry for her. He was sorry for himself. He wondered what had happened to him.
Someone had once said, if it's too beautiful, it can't be real. Perhaps his world was not real. Or did he pretend it to be too beautiful. He felt a sudden disgust for the lake, for his house by the lake, for Reena who kept humming while she made his bed, and for himself.
He went out in the balcony and lighted his cigarette.
3 comments:
what's the matter cigarette?
u always guess it right so why do i post myself as anon?
The man that you have portrayed is absolutely hopeless .... if someone has a nice house, a beautiful and caring wife, luxuries for life, assuming that there are no family problems, if this man still feels the emptiness within, he is pathetically hopeless. Not knowing what you want to do that will make you happy is the characteristic of a weak man. This state of dilemma is more profound in women than in men. So change your protagonist to a woman. It will suit the context better.
Spot on! Nice work. Grammatical errors though -"why did that god damn woman had to object" would be "why did that god damn woman have to object" and "He went out in the balcony and lighted his cigarette" would be"He went out in the balcony and lit his cigarette".
Somehow I can totally connect with this guy who has everything and yet there is this nagging feeling of emptiness inside him.
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