Drowning ...

Before I close my eyes
And let the waves suck me in,
I wish to feel the same warmth
I wish to feel the heat of love.

The waiter hands me another Margarita,
I wonder if it is I who washes it down my throat
Or is it you who pull the strings
And wash away my poise

I am lost or I have lost
I am not me anymore
I look into the mirror
The hair dresser tells me that the new look is killing.
I wonder if she actually knows that I have been dead for a long while.

I stir in my sleep,
You hold me tenderly,
Pull my cheeks into a smile...
and hands over my shoulder..
Is it only in my dreams that I embrace you??

I wake up with dark circles under my eyes
Was it the drink, I wonder..
When you pull me close
"Your kohl has smudged" you say.

No more of your games
No more empty gazes driving through the wall
No more trying to make sense out of this wordy world
It is just me who is bobbing her head ...

Have I drowned... or am I drowning
I wonder , as I order yet another drink.